What’s with 30 of age? Why is it so scary?
Aku setuju kalo buat perempuan, there are more risks for pregnancy after 30, dan semua resiko lain yang mengikuti angka 30… in medical and social perspectives…
Yang aku nggak setuju, kenapa musti dipaksain sebelum 30 harus nikah? Iya kalo itu pilihan yang baik, kalo cuma karena (katanya) keadaan yang memaksa? Namanya juga maksa, udah pasti hasilnya nggak bagus. And I totally disagree with this… Jodoh atau bukan jodoh, kita emang nggak akan pernah tau… tapi kita harus jeli membedakan antara (apa yang sepertinya) takdir dengan pilihan takdir…
I never said that marriage means you’ve found your destiny. For me, it means you’ve found your choice of destiny, and living it the best you could would be the consequences you have to take. Therefore, when you decide to get married, you have to be consciously aware of the forthcomings.
Nah kalo tentang hukum menikah… wah, kayanya pengetahuan agamaku masih cetek deh… bc I don’t really know where I stand in relation to this matter… Intinya, aku memilih hukumku sendiri, bahwa aku bakal menikah kalo aku udah ngerasa mampu. Mampu in my own words, my own point of view… Sama sekali bukan soal materi, sekali lagi… It just… hasn’t come to me yet… Lagipula, kapan kita menikah dan dengan siapa, itu juga udah diatur kan… that’s what I meant from my previous blog…
Jadi… kenapa harus buru-buru? When it comes, it comes… When you know, you know… We just have to wait. (And waiting doesn’t always has to be passive, rite?)
Kenapa harus buru-buru? Karena kalo kelamaan pacaran banyak mudharatnya?
Ya ya ya ya… I’ve heard a lot ‘bout that…
Tapi….
Kenapa harus dibikin banyak mudharatnya kalo bisa sebaliknya? Kenapa fokusnya harus ke esensi mudharat dari pacaran (atau pendekatan atau penjajagan, whatever the name is)??
Never think of a relationship as something cheesy, mi amigos! Jangan pernah nganggep kalo sebuah hubungan itu hanya bisa diisi sesuatu yang sia-sia ato bahkan sinful. Relationship is a process toward finding who we really are as a couple, what we’re trying to do to improve ourselves as an individual or as a couple, and then growing up together and better…
Itu idealnya… maybe TGTBT, tapi kan emang gak ada yang sempurna, and all we have to do is just trying to be as close as possible to our ultimate goal…
For those who don’t know me, let me introduce myself… a thinker. And a big one.
Jadi jangan harap aku bakal memutuskan sesuatu hanya karena “udah waktunya”, “udah hukumnya”, atau any other words sounded like that…
Lagian coba pikir… kalo kita baru kenal lawan jenis sebentar (say, 3 or 6 months), itu pun jarang ketemu n tuker pikiran, trus tiba-tiba orang ini ngelamar, dan karena menurut hukum nikah kita udah harus nikah (baca: wajib), sampe akhirnya diterimalah lamaran si cowok ‘antah-berantah’ ini, what will happen next?
What if he’s some masochist? Gimana kalo ternyata visi dan misinya tentang hidup kurang bisa kita terima? Gimana kalo ternyata kita gak bisa nerima kebiasaan-kebiasaannya yang ‘sembarangan’ (misal throwing socks under the sofa ‘til they got molded or other scarier habits…), bukankah akan jadi kekecewaan?
Memang, semua terletak pada kesediaan kita menerima pasangan apa adanya, tapi kalo ternyata kita terpaksa menerima??? Apa lacur? Mau cerai, kasian orangtua… Gak cerai, tersiksa…
That’s why, I recommend knowing before speaking…
Aku setuju, pacaran lama pun gak menjamin kita tahu pasangan kita dengan baik… but at least that’s what I’m trying to do… If it takes longer than others, so be it. I guess it’s just the way everything has to be… for me…
Intinya, I don’t feel like getting married in a short time, dan gak ngiri sama sekali denger ada temen (ato adek kelas) yang mo nikah, juga blom ada insting yang tergerak kalo denger ada temen yang ngelahirin ato jadi bapak… And I had this thought notified to my parents few weeks ago. They didn’t seem offended. I hope.
I think it’s just a matter of time, and I have faith in God, as much as I have faith in myself.
Maybe I lack trust in others, that’s why I cannot let anyone outside myself to make decisions for me… selain itu I happened to always decide for life myself, and back then no one even bothered to make it out for me.. Why now? Why this? I’ve been trained quite well to take care of myself and my grandma had raised me and taught me well into it, but now… everyone just seem to… well…. I don’t even know there’s a name for it! It’s excruciating sometimes.
Masalah blom ada yang ngelamar sih… well, I’ll say “not now” anyway, jadi nggak penting juga.
Everything happens for a reason. Me not wanting to get married soon, why me not wanting to get married soon, what influences “why me not wanting to get married soon”… semuanya ada jawabannya. And I just want to keep it to myself.
(and this statement also open for a sudden change of mind… so, we’ll see)
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